Friday, November 20, 2009

Beware the Latest Threat to Human Life!

Jellyfish are Taking Over the Ocean!

Despite their pacific sounding name (pun intended) jellyfish are quickly becoming a threat to other ocean life and to human beings. See the harrowing report on how many giant, icky jellyfish are propagating off the coast of Japan, and how deadly the sting of the box jellyfish can be. Did you know that 500,000 people per year are stung by jellyfish in the Chesapeak Bay? I didn't even know that many people swam in the bay. It seems like a 100% guarantee that if you go swimming in the bay you will become just another statitic.

Clearly this is a job for government intervention, and the answer is not just throwing dollars at the problem (the jellyfish will just eat them). No, the US of A must recruit the only known weapon against this menace:

Nick at Night, send us Spongebob so we can sleep at night!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

How Men Can Be So Stupid

There's a new study out that indicates that men basically beat up their wives if their home football team, when favored to win by 3 points or more, loses. This seemingly unimportant upset in the larger scheme of things, seems to be incredibly upsetting to many of us men, who then take out their frustrations on their spouses.

So how should "society" respond? Perhaps an ad after such a loss by the home team, discouragin their male fans from reacting this way, sort of like a "drink responsibly" add: "lose with dignity"? Who knows. But clearly those of us with testosterone in our gender package have issues.