Friday, July 31, 2009

White House Beer Summit Triggers New Trend

Since the recent arrest of Prof. Henry Louis Gates, Jr. by Officer James Crowley, there have been dozens of arrests since the announcement of the beer summit of african american professors by white police officers. "I wanna have a beer with the President" said Office Bryan Sweeney, of the Princeton Police Department, "that's why I brought in Professor Dawson of the Physics Department." Dawson was charged with disorderly conduct by Sweeney after Dawson criticized Sweeney for giving him a parking ticket in a tow-away zone.

Apparently, not all arrests have been involuntary. At the University of Chicago, Professor of Black Literature Oscar Hayes, arranged to be arrested by Officer James O'Hara. "I told O'Hara to stay in front of the student union at lunch, and that I would snatch a student's purse and would let him grab me before I got on my bike" The plan worked as intended, and both Hayes and O'Hara are scheduled to have a beer with the President later this week. "I'm bringing a Pilsner", said Hayes. "Sam Adams" said a grinning O'Hara.

The White House appointments office has been overwhelmed with scheduling beer summits for the next month, and is considering buying a few kegs and maybe having a symbolic tug-of-war on the White House lawn with the 42 pairs of arrestees and arresting officers. Some of the more enterprising white officer/african american professor couplings have created a new website called "We need to raise awareness of this simple and easy way to get a sit down with the Commander-in-Chief, something that few white, middle-class police officers and african-american professors rarely experience."

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